Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Decoding the Amit

Hi people. This is Amit here. By now you wud've guessed that I hail from Delhi. Every alternate Delhiite or Northie is named Amit.. thats the only I dont like about north india.. hell it is lot better than Thambi..Amit is a glorious term that I associate with myself and all other fellow Delhiites n more generally Northies...
I was quite happy till the age of 16. I was living in Amitland with fellow Amits all around and there was only Lassi, Bhangra n Altaf Raja in our lives.. n then one day damn.. everything was thrown out of place.. literally i mean.. i was hurled from Amitland to South India.. land of the nuts or rather say Coconuts..
This is absolute discrimination.. we Amits dont get to study in Amitland and we are packed off to these weird south indian places.. I mean for the kind of marks we Amits score we wudnt be allowed to piss even near the gates of IIT.. The greatest Amit I have heard and that too from Amitland is Chetan Bhagat.. I just love him. He is such an Amit. His latest book 2 states..man he takes the mickey out of these south indians... but hell he is the only Amit I know who speaks passable English..
We Amits generally lack in anything that is related to English.. Led Zep means Ladkiyaan.. Pink Floyd means Pottiyaan.. Megadeath means Mundeya...I am surprised by my knowledge of such band names..I thought the greatest rock band was Magik.. but these fukers tell me thats just a movie and no band like that exists..Bull Shit.. U dont fool an Amit..not at the first time itself...
I mean I agree when compared to these Thambi's ( gen. South Indians) I accept that Enlish speaking skills is what we lack.. But we more than make up for it.. We have read more Rapidex courses than the Idli's those Thambi's have devoured. We can tell word by word from the Rapidex book. Even the Profs were moved when they found out that Rapidex - learn English in 30 days was the bestseller in Delhi.. I mean North India..We Amits are not that bad either.. We believe in National Integration.. The Rapidex they say was written by a Thambhi..

We make everyone have Lassi when they turn up at our places and we make them have more Lassi when they turn up at our marriages.. See we do invite everyone..The songs we listen to are very simple.. They contain a mix and match of words like Balle, Shaawa, Munda, Heere, Nachle,,Chak De, Ishq, Pyaar, Mohabbat, Saajan etc. in various permutations and combinations. Dont you dare think for a sec that there are no more words in Hindi.. Just that we dont have the brains to churn out anything creative.. rither music or lyrics.. WTF i mean we are little lazy thats all.. I dont how the fuck they credit Carnatic Music to the Thambi's. I mean once upon a time we Delhiites (Read Mughals)ruled the entire country.. so Carnatic muisc originated from us.. same with Classical music.. WTF said it originated in Dharwad.. I agree that the Peda originated from there.. We Amits ruled the enitre country.. All the creative spark, the cultural heritage we distributed it to you people.

And all these south indian languages sound the same man.. I mean Malayalam, Kannada, Tamil, Telugu.. WTF its everything the same.. These kannadiga's speak Tamil and then why the hell do they fight with these tamils.. I mean dont Kannadiga's belong to Tamilnadu.. All these people are then same.. They are not unique like us Amits.. We have similar tastes in Music, Movies, Literature (Rapidex - Learn English in 30 Days),Dresses, Smell ( V dont take bath.. he he.. Thats why we dont fight over water like TN-->Karnataka). We all also end up loving the same girl. Our tastes are so common.

We are such a big force.. we Amits.. we make sure we are heard where ever we go.. I mean we are that loud.. We were the prime reason Kotler and Keller came up with a Hindi version of Marketing Management...विपणन प्रबंधन

None can beat us in the usage of Google.. Thats how we got them to have a Hindi Portal as well 'cos were looking for meanings like Rotund, Obtuse, Chardonnay etc. The meaning wasnt enuf 'cos again the bloody meaning was in English.. This meant we had to go over to Rapidex and decode it.. What a waste of time.. And that's when one of our Amits (Amit's friend actually)decide to end this ugly stalemate. He was the brainchild behind Google kicking off it's translator page. I heard he used a Thambi for that 'cos the page itself is in English.. But never mind small diversions..

We Amits love everything from Bappi Lahiri to Altaf Raja. We can make any song a superhit, any album a bumper hit as long as it is Hindi. How else do you think movies like Judwaa, HAHK etc were a hit. How else do you think we sunk Dil Se, even though it was a masterpiece made by that Thambi Maniratnam ( We Amits hate the 'h', thats why Amit :-)). I agree that was once when we Amit's could do nothing.. regarding the music.. I must agree it was way too good for even us Amits to sabotage.. But we did bring the movie down saying it was pointless, baseless. We even used words like Bad Screenplay ( What ever the fuck that means!) to screw the movie. Let me share a secret which only we Amits know. We dint understand the movie actually.. he he he.. Damned ingenious it was.. wasnt it..

I think this gave you a little intro about Amit.. Take a sneep peak at some Amits here:
1. Amit1
My My what a response and ruckus it created. The responses and rebuttals and a myriad of links to various Amits and Non- Amits.
Response to Amit1
Now what do we do about this Amit. May be get Krish Ashok and his Thambi's involved here too...I mean I guess this Amit wants publicity.. As a fellow Amit I would create it for him.. 368 comments for that.. I hope Amit2 ( Amit's friend.. i.e. my fiend) breaks all statistical records..

Dont miss to catch up with your favorite Amit right here.

P.S.:- The name Amit is so cool. Way cooler than some Subramaniam or Thiru Kumaran.

No comments:

Post a Comment